Sunday, March 5, 2017

I'll Create the Life I Want

I'm 40.  Yes 40 and determined to create the life that I want.  I'm sure I am just another middle aged person trying to "find" their purpose, but I'm fed up waiting on it or searching for it.  I've decided I am going to create it.  One little step at a time, one laugh...(or maybe tear), 1 or 100 sleepless night or over too many cups of coffee.  

I remember many times over being told that I should write a book.  In fact, I've been asked specifically about writing books on marriage, business models, the life of Marines and families, the stories of the wounded in war, and my own memoir.   And EVERY single time I said, "some day I'll write once my children are gone and I have some free time."

I guess I imagined that when my youngest, whom is now 9, has moved out that I would be living a relatively comfortable life.  The kind of life where I no longer live pay check to pay check.  The kind of life where I can lounge around with a good book in my comfy and quaint sunroom...out in the woods preferably.

Then life changed.  One day, it no longer mattered if I had paid my dues - or that I had done my time.  It didn't matter if I had volunteered for hundreds of families and had thousands -- (No...Literally..thousands-- not even kidding) of nights alone at home while my spouse was away.  It did not matter if I had co-shared in the responsibility to save, invest and plan for a future where old age wasn't scary.  Because...I looked it in the face 23 years ago and decided to be mature and responsible in my choices at the know-it-all age of 17. 

So, I'm 40 (yes...we're back to that).  And, I sit in my rental home, with things I've managed to accrue from Goodwill, yard sales and friends... with a substantially less income than 3 years ago... I'm ok.  It's a tough pill to swallow, but I am doing it.  

We often think that there are many things we "couldn't do."  The truth is...we just wouldn't want to do it.  Like?  Starting over.  But, in the face of the unexpected and the inevitable, we can do it.  

I'm 40.  I've not been in this spot since I was 20 years old.  But, I'll create the best life that I can with what I have in front of me today. And while I can give you a long, long list of my woes, my list of blessings is far greater.  

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